Communicating With Older Adults (Part 2)

This is a continuation of the series started in the previous post.

5. Face Them– Typically, when people experience disabilities, they compensate. In the case of hearing loss, lip reading is employed. So, you need to face your listener and you need to be at the same level. Hence, if they’re standing or sitting, you do likewise.
6. Keep Your Sentence Structure Simple– Long run on sentences are going to challenging. Due to short term memory difficulties, the listener may not recall the subject you were talking about at the beginning of a sentence by the time you get to the end. Yes, its true. Consider, “Mrs. Jones, your roof is leaking because Hurricane Sandy tore the shingles off and now water is infiltrating down to your ceiling and may ruin the beams so we’ll need to repair them and it’ll cost $250. Ok?” Or, “Mrs. Jones, the storm damaged your roof. Its leaking. Until you fix it it will get worse. I can fix it for $250.”
7. Ask Open-Ended Questions and…LISTEN– Open ended questions are those that cannot be answered with yes/no. Due to not wanting to disappoint you, the listener may just answer yes/no arbitrarily. You could be led seriously astray. If you ask “How did it go with your son?” or “How are you sleeping?”, you have a chance to get a lot of info that you wouldn’t else wise. You’ll not only possible get the info you seek but you’ll get further insight into their ability to understand, reason, etc…
8. Go To Their Home– Its one thing to talk with someone. Its another to see how they live. And, how an older person lives may be VERY hazardous to their health. They may be entirely lucid and well put together. But, don’t be surprised if you visit and find their home is dangerously cluttered. There could be a lack of food. Utilities could be shut. I can’t tell you how many ties I’ve received a call from family describing their elders situation. I feel I know the scenario perfectly. Then, I visit. And all my preconceptions turn to misconceptions. There can be many reasons for this. If your information comes from family, it can be seriously biased due to lifelong dynamics. If the information’s from the person themselves, there can be pride, privacy, skewed judgment due to mental illness.
9. If They’re There, Talk To Them– Sounds obvious, right. Just imagine, you’re sitting with three friends. They’re talking about you, but not to you. How do you feel? Initially, probably angry. Overtime, you’ll go with it and cede your independence to them. Or, you’ll just separate from these “friends”. Is this good? We ought not assume that elders can’t understand. We often make assumptions about the cognitive abilities of others that are incorrect. Its been shown that persons in comas and under total anesthesia can recall things said and done in their presence.
10. Trust But Verify– Don’t just ask, “Do you understand?” Ask them to tell you what they heard. But, be gentle because they may really not remember and will feel embarrassed or angry that you’re pressuring them. So, “It would help me learn how I’m doing at explaining. Can you tell me what I’ve said?” Or, “Mrs. Jones, how would you explain to your husband how to take this medicine?”